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Re:lationships

fivegoodfriends

A poignant response to a Q&A on one of the pod cast episodes by The Minimalists.

Question was something along the lines of:

“what did you declutter recently that you spent a lot of time working on.”

“Relationships”

Letting go of people you’ve spent a long time knowing leaves you with this twinge of guilt and sadness. Yet, we all need to let go of shitty relationships, because you’re the only one who is hanging on.

I’m currently at a juncture of not forming a long term romantic relationship “just because it is socially acceptable”. To me, a partner is The Other, not The One.

The Other helps you with self-actualization.

I’m also at a sectional where I prioritize time for my passions, alone time and family time. Something that stretches me thinly when I had partners in my life. Nonetheless, they were as fulfilling in lessons as they drifted in and out.

Relationships are important bonds to nurture. This week, I did a clean up of my Facebook friends list and phone contact list. I let go of 400 people and counting.

My Checklist for keeping contacts and Facebook friends is:

  • Do they inspire me?
  • Do they help me in my work and other areas of life?
  • Do they help me to grow?
  • Do I care for them?
  • Have we interacted meaningfully?
  • Are they interconnected with my family?
  • Are they active in a certain social group I am in for a good purpose?
  • Have I spoken to them in the last 5-10 years?

It’s amazing how easily we can press a “send request” button but undoing it takes a lot of courage. How much value do we place on a Facebook Friendship? It was a perplexing question that held so much weight.

With my phone, it’s easy to tap on “delete contact”, but is it easy to forget how you’ve interacted with them? Things are easier when you struggle to recall who they are and where you’ve met them. The crisis comes when you know you used to be really close friends who broke apart.

“But what about networking acquaintances?”

If you reach out to them constantly and have a mutual understanding of business sales, great. But if not, out they go. These bonds are purely for advertising. I go to Facebook Groups to do that. Facebook Groups are more intentional as they are created for that purpose.

Want to get to know the property market? Join a Facebook group about property and go for property seminars. You’ll scout this area of learning with deeper perspective.

Relationships take time to nurture and build. Meaningless interaction is very draining and it removes time for me to plan better ones with people I can grow with and care for.

Which ones truly belong in your life?

 

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